A Step Too Far
by EmmaleeWrites05
Summary: "I was arrested at Edna's Diner a full year after I met her. It was the same diner we had met at. The same diner we had our first coffee together, our first dinner and it was the same diner where she told us our lives were going to change forever."
1. Prologue

**A/N: Omg, I am posting again. I haven't posted any ff in nearly a year, I have been so out of the loop. So here is to hoping that this story is up to snuff. Just a little FYI, this is a short story, majority of it is already written. Most chapters will be small, like 2k words more or less, with a tentative posting schedule of at least once a week, but maybe more. But don't hold that entirely against me when the characters start taking over. Its rated M for violence, language and some touchy subjects. And I just wanted to state that I am not a doctor, lawyer, cop or anything and any information regarding those topics are only researched and are subjected to being incorrect. Bare with me, its fiction and its just for fun.**

**Thanks to HopelessRomantic79 for her beta skills  
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**Prologue **

I was arrested at Edna's Diner one dark stormy night a full year after I met her. It was the same diner we had met at. The same diner we had our first coffee together, our first dinner and it was the same diner where she told us our lives were going to change forever.

I sat in our booth, the red squeaky vinyl giving my presence away. I shifted slightly to get comfortable knowing that I wouldn't be here for long. I could only run and hide for so long. I knew eventually they would come for me. It was inevitable. I looked up quickly at the lightening flashing violently across the sky as the heavens opened up a little bit more. A torrential rainfall fell across the inky sky almost in waves. It was late night or early morning, I didn't quite know. The streets were dead besides the sporadic traffic crossing from one side of town to the other. The twenty four-hour diner I sat in was always open no matter the weather nor the number of patrons.

"You're here awfully late aren't ya hun?" I glanced up at the scratchy voice of Mary, our usual waitress. She was in her early sixties and should have been off her feet a good decade ago. She reached over and flipped the empty coffee cup on the table over and quickly filed it to the brim with coffee that had probably been sitting in the pot for the last four hours. "Where's the Mrs.?"

"She's…." I cleared my throat. How do I answer that? Mary has known us each separately for a long time, but for the last year she got to watch us meet, fall in love and begin our life together. I didn't cherish the thought of her also getting to see our life together end. "Um…could I just get my usual please?"

She nodded her head and walked away. My usual was a sausage and cheese omelet with hash browns and it sounded so damn good. If I was going to be finally caught tonight, I at least wanted my one final meal.

I looked out the window as I sipped my coffee. The events from the last couple weeks were playing through my head on an endless loop. Just a month ago our lives were perfect. Both had great jobs, nice apartment, our lives were just starting out. Then he happened, I retaliated and then…

"Here's your usual hun. Ya know…you can talk to me if you need to? I've known you and the Mrs. for quite a while. I've been through love and loss and heartache too. I may be able to help you work out some things if need be."

"Mmm, Thanks Mary but I don't think you can help here. I'm good for now. Thanks." She set down my check and smiled politely as she walked away. I hummed to myself. I'd miss her too, like the mother I never really had. I grabbed the ketchup, nearly drowning my plate in it, before I started eating. I glanced at the check and saw I owed her $11.89 for my meal. I pulled a couple $100 dollar bills from my wallet and slid it over on the table towards the window. It was the least I could do. I imagine the cops would be here any second and the commotion it would cause would forever change this diner's perception of me. Hell, who knows, maybe my arrest would even get this Ma and Pa shop some more business.

I was almost finished with my plate when I saw the red and blue lights cutting across the rainy night. I took another sip of my coffee and sat back, staring out the window. There was surprisingly only one cop car, two officers. I had figured on more, but apparently I wasn't that important, yet they had been tracking me for days.

They walked in together. One was a big burly guy; the other looked like he had eaten way too many donuts in his life. Shaking off the rain, they headed down the aisle towards me. I calmly set my fork down and pushed away my plate.

"You know why we're here son?" the portly guy asked. I nodded and stood, turned around and put my hands behind my back. He started to cuff me as the big burly guy started reading me my Miranda Rights.

"Jasper Hale Whitlock, you are wanted on the charge of murder in the second degree of one Mr. James William Hargrove. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

"Yes sir."

**A/N: Teaser of the next chapter for those who want it, please review :)**


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Wow! Thank you all so much for your reviews. I hope I got the teaser to everyone. I really don't like the new ffn way to review reply. Kinda lame. So if I accidentally forget you, _please_ let me know.

Thanks to HopelessRomantic79 for her beta skills

Oh and because I forgot last time...**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own. Not now. Not ever. No money making business here. Just fictional fun.**  
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**Chapter 1**

**Bella POV**

**One year earlier**

I stepped into the diner and quickly shook my coat off. It was pouring outside but I guess that was to be expected in Seattle. I had moved here six years ago for college and I loved this city. I never looked back. I got my business degree two years ago and I still didn't know what I wanted to do with it. I had been bouncing between different office jobs just trying to find that "one" that fit me. Today, I was starting a new job as a legal secretary for this new law firm in downtown.

"Well hello Miss Isabella, take a seat anywhere you can find one. As you can see this place is rather busy this morn." I smiled and waved at Mary as I saddled up to the counter, since all the booths were full. I took one of two empty seats and shrugged my jacket off. I glanced at my watch and knew I only had about two hours before I had to be at work; more than enough time to enjoy a little breakfast and read part of the paper. I had been coming to this diner ever since the day I stumbled upon it back in my first year of college. Mary was a sweetheart and reminded me a lot of my Gran.

"So, you're here rather early. Don't you usually come in for dinner?" I leaned over to meet Mary's hug as she pulled back.

"Yeah, I'm starting a new job today in downtown so my hours are going to be a little different now. Thought I'd pop in for a coffee and maybe a couple eggs?"

She laughed as she grabbed the pot of coffee and quickly poured me a cup. "Two eggs? Over easy? Hash browns?"

"Yes please and maybe a little fruit."

"You got it hun." I heard the bell on the door jingle again as some more people piled into the diner. "There's my boy." Mary said as she looked over me towards the door. I glanced over my shoulder and saw a group of people standing at the door so I wasn't quite sure who she had been talking to. I grabbed my newspaper out of my bag as I turned back around. The chair next to me swiveled and was quickly occupied by a very manly smelling guy. You know the kind, the fresh out of the shower guy that smells like spicy body wash and shampoo. I glanced over briefly and had to turn back just as fast. He was too good looking and I was a little more than shy.

"Hey son, you want your usual?" Mary was all smiles and I had to wonder if this was really her "son" or just another patron she was friendly with. Mary was everyone's best friend.

"Yes please Mary. This place is packed this morning." He chuckled and slipped his jacket off, accidently bumping into me in the process. "Oh, sorry." I glanced over and instantly notice his icy blue eyes. "Hi." He smiled. "I'm Jasper." He stuck out his hand which I instantly took.

"Bella." I smiled back as Mary turned back around to us, placing a fresh cup of coffee in front of him. "Nice to meet you."

"Oh good, you've met. Be nice to her Jasper, I don't want you scaring off one of my favorite gals." Her warning was clear but he just chuckled and put his hand on his chest in mock defense.

"Who? Me?" Mary tittered at him as she walked away.

"So…I don't think I have ever seen you in here before…"

"No, I usually don't come in until late afternoon." I smiled and took a drink of my coffee. "I used to do my homework here all the time in college. If you can believe it, this noisy diner was a lot more quiet then my dorm."

"No, I get that. Just something about this place that has that homey feel too it. Makes it easier to concentrate. I often come here in the mornings for meetings because I love it here."

"Oh what do you do?" I asked as I slid my newspaper aside and leaned against the counter. I'd much rather talk with this guy then ignore the world and read the paper right now.

"I run half a construction company with my brother Peter. I do primarily the paperwork aspect and he is the onsite guy." He ran his hand through his hair and smiled at me.

"Oh, got it." I smiled back. I think I was a little dazzled by him. I hadn't dated since I broke up with Edward nearly a year before. Nobody felt right to me, but here I was sitting with this seemingly great guy with butterflies taking up residence in my stomach.

"What about you?" I glanced up just as Mary walked out with both our plates. The food smelled delicious.

"Here you two go. Eat up." She quickly hurried off as the bell over the door jingled again.

"Oh…um. I've been doing odd and end office jobs for the last couple of years. I'm actually starting a new job today as a legal secretary in downtown at _'Harper, Saks and Associates'_."

"You sound like you haven't enjoyed any of your work…" His observation couldn't be any more spot on.

"Not really. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but I figured a business degree was at least something until I find my calling. My safety net. It applies nearly everywhere." I shook my head. My list of job-hopping positions was really actually kind of sad. I lasted about four months or so at any one position before I found that every little thing about it irritated me beyond reasoning. I've been employed steadily since I was 16 just nothing ever stuck well with me.

"And what do you like to do with your free time?" We continued talking for a good hour after we had initially sat down. We talked about everything. My new job, his work, our hobbies, friends, family and by the time I had to leave to make it to work on time, we had exchanged numbers. I hadn't given out my number in a long time. But Jasper Whitlock sounded like a decent guy; Mary seemed to love him and I always thought she had a good judge of character. Perhaps a chance meeting was all I needed to try and find my knight in shining armor.

My first day of work at Harper, Saks and Associates was a busy one. There were so many people to meet that I halfway wanted to ask them to all wear 'Hi, my name is…' tags just so I can learn who they were.

My boss, Mr. James Hargrove, was proving to be a bit difficult however. His requests could easily be filed under 'D' for demeaning and he had a penchant for flirting with any and everything with two legs, a short skirt and well proportionate chest. But, from what I could see, the women didn't mind it too much. He was, in my opinion, a walking sexual harassment lawsuit. Nonetheless, he was so suave and complimentary about it that he made it seem like it was your idea to let him talk you up and ogle your chest. But unlike some of the other women in the company, I was a wallflower. I was not dressed as provocatively as the rest and keep my responses to a minimum to try and not encourage him. I just wanted to do my job.

My day didn't technically start until 10 am because all of the lawyers I was directly working for usually had court appointments in the mornings. Dragging my feet and getting home to my little one bedroom apartment at night was new for me too. But the pay at this place was worth it if I can only get through the hectic first couple weeks at this new job.

Right after I popped a meal into the microwave to heat up my phone dinged at me. Pulling it out of my pocket I noticed a text message from Jasper.

_Hope your first day went well. Perhaps we can meet again tomorrow morning at the diner for coffee? I'd love to hear all about it._

I smiled brilliantly as I typed my reply. _Yes of course. Same time, same place? :)_

_I'll see you there beautiful. _I smiled like a little kid on Christmas after getting his text back. I was trying really hard not to get my hopes up, something I was failing miserably at.

The next morning he was sitting in a booth waiting for me. What was strange was that it was my normal booth I used to do all my homework in; squeaky red vinyl with coffee cup rings on the table, the one in the very back corner next to the large window that overlooked all the rushing traffic. In the distance you could see part of the college.

"Hey stranger," I said as I slipped into the booth. There was a yellow carnation sitting there waiting for me and I couldn't help but smile as I picked it up and smelled it. I slipped it into my hair and looked up at him. He looked even better today than yesterday.

"Good Morning Bella." We sat and chatted over breakfast and I never felt more secure than I did around him. He was charming and sweet. Damn good looking and funny. He had this little scar next to one of his eyes that you only really saw when he smiled and his face crinkled by it. And he focused on me while we sat there; never having a wandering eye like the couple guys I had dated before. Not like we were dating really. Two days in a row eating together didn't constitute dating in my book. Maybe just flirting.

"So Bella….I was wondering…would you like to get dinner with me this Friday night?"

"Yes, I would."

Six months after our first date we moved in together. Some of our friends thought it was a little too fast, but some were more than supportive. It was definitely a learning experience moving in with someone after only knowing them for a short time, but we compromised well together. He didn't mind doing some of the chores around the house if I cooked for him. He truly was a horrible cook.

Jasper's brother was married to an amazing woman, Charlotte, who became one of my best friends. It's sad, after Edward and I broke up, his sister Alice who I considered one of my best friends, slowly drifted away from me. So being able to hang out with another woman again, especially one who didn't know me by my past, was a breath of fresh air. She was a sweetheart and being six years older than me, she was like the big sister I never had.

And it was a damn good thing I had Charlotte for support because just a month after Jasper and I moved in together, that little white stick that a lot of women fear? Yeah, it came back with two pink lines. _Pregnant._ So I took him back to our diner, to our booth, to tell him. This news was going to change everything. We had only been together for seven months and here I was about to tell him that now he was going to be tied to me for the next 18 years to life whether he liked it or not. I was nervous. I was scared. But I wanted this. Now that it has happened, I knew what that "calling" was; to be a mother. I could do that.

**A/N:** Another teaser of the next chapter to those who want it, please review :)


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Thank you guys so much for all your reviews. I am so happy to see how much everyone is liking this so far. Just an FYI again, I am not a doctor, lawyer or cop so any information regarding those careers are just researched and subjected to being all wrong. And this chapter might have some touchy subjects in it. I don't go into detail but things are implied. I'm also told that this is a bit of a tissue inducing chapter.

Thanks again to HopelessRomantic79 for her beta skills. She has her work cut out for her since that characters are starting to take over again and I have had to rework the outline to add more chapters. Haha**  
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**Chapter 2**

**Jasper POV**

When Bella told me that she was pregnant, I did two things. First I dropped my coffee cup, shattering it and spilling coffee all over the diner table. Mary rushed over quickly with a rag to start cleaning it up. She slapped the rag down on the table and started wiping all the coffee up before it reached us.

"Jasper, honey, what'd you do that for?" Mary mumbled as she soaked up the mess with her rag. I snapped to attention and nervously started helping her pick up the broken shards. My hands were trembling and my voice had suddenly become shaky.

"I'm so s-sorry Mary. I d-didn't mean to. It just h-happened." I hadn't stuttered that bad in over ten years, but apparently being told that kind of news brought out the frightened kid in me.

"That's okay son." She patted my hand and stepped away leaving me and Bella in silence once more. She hadn't moved once during the whole ordeal. I'm sure she was waiting for me to bolt, or start yelling or whatever other scenario she had already imagined I would do. She was really good at that, making assumptions out of nothing.

But I didn't bolt. I didn't start yelling. I didn't start saying anything really. I just sat back in the booth and stared at her.

_Pregnant._

_With child._

_Knocked up._

_A Family._

That's when it hit me. _Family._ I hadn't really grown up in the traditional sense of a family, but I did know that I had always wanted a family of my own. A wife I could come home to, support and love. A boy I could teach how to play baseball and a little girl who would have me completely wrapped around her finger and be totally spoiled. _Daddy. Dad. Father. Pops._ I tried out the titles in my head. Yeah, I could do this.

After everything had run through my head, with Bella still sitting there patiently waiting, I did the next thing. It was the most logical step in my mind. I had already been thinking about for a month or so now. Living with Bella was brilliant and I didn't want to change that.

"Marry me?"

It took two months to get her to finally agree to marry me. She kept insisting that she didn't ever want to be a pregnant bride, have "shotgun wedding" or for anyone to think that the only reason we got married was because she was pregnant. It took a lot of convincing and a little help from my brother and his wife to prove to Bella that I had already been thinking about asking her before she had even told me about the baby.

Her one condition was that it be a small wedding. So I gave her exactly what she wanted. Peter and Charlotte had this nice two story house in Seattle with a back yard that was killer. Charlotte's passion was horticulture and her back yard proved her love. So one fine day under a trellis full of flowers, Bella and I said _I Do_ with Peter, Charlotte, Mary and a couple other close friends and family.

We took a one week vacation to British Columbia for our honeymoon and I was ecstatic. We may have been moving a little fast, but I was getting the happy family I had always wanted. Yeah, I am not too manly to admit that I am totally smitten with Bella and I would do anything for her.

It has now been five months since Bella told me she was pregnant and after much considering, we decided to find out the sex of the baby. There in the beginning we wanted to be surprised like the good old days. Not knowing whether it was a boy or girl we were getting blessed with. But after a bunch of shopping for things we would need for our kids arrival, we decided it would be easier and less costly to know what sex we needed to buy for.

I was on my way to Bellas appointment at the hospital to find out the sex. I was running late, I knew it. She told me just to meet her there since it was such a late afternoon appointment and her work was literally right around the corner. I looked at my watch as I rushed into her doctors' waiting room, expecting to see an angry Bella scowling at me for my tardiness, but she wasn't there. Great, she had already been called back.

I rushed up to the admitting window, "Excuse me, I was supposed to meet my wife Bella Whitlock here for her appointment." The nurse clucked her tongue at me and glanced at a chart.

"Yes…Mrs. Whitlock hasn't checked in yet." She replied in a tone that clearly stated that she was none too happy.

"What do you mean she hasn't checked in?" I glanced at the clock. "Our appointment was supposed to be 15 minutes ago!"

"Yes, sir, _I know_." She set the chart down. "But she never showed up." I backed away from the window and grabbed my phone, dialing Bella's number immediately.

It rang and rang until her voicemail picked up, "Hi, This Bella Whitlock. I am unable to come to the phone right now. Please leave me a message and I'll return your call. Thank you, bye!"

"Bella! Babe, are you ok, where you? The nurse said you never showed up for the ultrasound. Please please call me back. You have me worried. This isn't like you." I hung up and redialed as I walked out the door and started pacing back and forth.

It was after the fifth redialing of her number that she picked up. I spoke before I even gave her a chance. "Bella! What the hell? Where are you?"

"Excuse me sir, who is this?"

My heart dropped. No, not dropped, plummeted. I did not recognize this guy's voice. _At all._ What the fuck?

"Who is this answering Bella's phone?" I all but shouted into the phone.

"Sir, I need you to calm down. My name is Dr. Hoyt. Are you Mr. Whitlock?"

"Yes sir, I am Bella's husband."

"Okay, good. I don't want you to be alarmed but your wife was just brought into the ER. I need you to get here right away."

"I'm already at the hospital!" This time I shouted. "I was supposed to meet Bella here for her ultrasound appointment."

"Sir…." he sighed. "I really need you to calm down and come to the ER. Ask for me and they will let you in. I'll explain everything when you get here." He hung up and I bolted down the corridor towards the other side of the hospital. Dodging people in the hallways, getting yelled at several times by the nurses or doctors I passed for running in the hospital. I didn't care.

Five minutes later I was being led into an ER room with Bella inside. I thought I had died and gone to hell the moment I saw her. She was all banged up and asleep on the bed. Cuts across her face, blood dried here and there. Her skirt was ripped and she had bruises everywhere. I collapsed into the chair next to her bed. "What…..What…..happened?"

The doctor cleared his voice before he read form a chart. "An employee at Harper, Saks and Associates found Mrs. Whitlock at the bottom of a stair well. From what we can ascertain, she took a mighty big spill down the stairs. She was found unconscious. We have run a couple of test and she does seem to be stable right now, her stats are a little low and we have her on a heart monitor. However there is a complication with the pregnancy…"

"What?" I shot up in my seat.

"Dr. Stevens…Our OB/GYN, was unable to find a heartbeat sir…" My vision went blurry and I heard a God-awful sound fill the room. It took me a few second to realize it was me; it was my anguish filling the room. "I am so sorry sir, but the fall was too much for the child. We need you to sign these forms so we may perform a C-section immediately and get her out of there before she becomes a risk to your wife."

"She?" I have a daughter. No. I had a daughter. _Had._ Oh my God, this is going to kill Bella.

"Yes sir. Once again I am so sorry." He set a clipboard down on the end of the bed and stepped back. I glanced up at him. He had to be no more than a year or two older than me yet he already looked like he had lived a lifetime of stress and pain. In that moment, I knew exactly how he felt. "Please go ahead and take a few minutes. But honestly sir, a C-section needs to be done directly or the fetus can cause her to become septic which can kill her." I nodded my head as he backed out the door.

"Bella…." I whispered next to her ear as I held her hand and pushed the hair back away from her face. "Bella…Sweetie….I am so so very fucking sorry. Our sweet angel won't be joining us. Our Madeline May Whitlock is going to heaven far sooner than was anticipated. Did you hear that? A girl. I am sure she would have been gorgeous. Your hair and your eyes and your cute little nose. I would have wanted her to look just like her mommy. I love you. I love you so fucking much." I cried even harder. "Oh God, Bella, you did nothing wrong. We did nothing wrong. Oh honey I wish you were awake right now so I could see those beautiful eyes of yours before you went into surgery." I cried. Probably harder than any time I had cried before. All my tears through my life wouldn't equal this. "Please baby…wake up for me. I don't want you waking up after this not knowing why or how." I buried my face into her side, trying to be mindful of whatever injuries she might have.

"Jasper…" I heard the faintest whisper. I sat up and looked in her face. "Jasper….James…."

"What?" Why was she speaking about her boss, _now_?

"James….the stairs…get away….angry…so angry….pushed."

"What? Bella, babe you aren't making any sense. James was in the stairwell, is that what you are saying?"

"Yes…" She started to close her eyes. "I told him no…." Her voice was getting fainter. "I told him to leave me alone." I brushed my hand down her face, avoiding her cuts. "He was so angry. James gets what he wants. But not me. I said no…"

I turned towards the door. "Could somebody call the cops please?" I shouted and turned back to Bella. "Baby, are you saying that James did this to you. Did James lay a hand on you and our baby?" A small smile flitted across her face as her eyes completely closed and her hand laid across her stomach. "I wouldn't let him. I'm probably fired."

Everything after that went too fast. Her heart monitor started making that horrible flat lining sound you often see in movies. A flurry of activity, doctors and nurses pushed into the room and somebody grabbed my arm and dragged me out. They took Bella off to surgery just as a man in blue walked up next to me. I didn't even get to say I love you…or god forbid, goodbye before they whisked her away.

"Did you need a police officer son?"

I nodded yes and started to tell him everything I knew, everything that Bella had told me. James. I knew the first time I met him that he was a slick mother fucker. He had that air about him. Dangerous. Disturbing. I had tried to urge Bella weeks ago to quit. She didn't. Stubborn girl. But she insisted that she had to work until her maternity leave. I tried to convince her she didn't need to work at all. Now…now I wish I had tried harder. Our poor little baby. This was going to crush Bella.

**A/N:** Teaser of the next chapter to those who want it, please review :)


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Hi everyone! Thanks for all the great reviews. Hope everyone had a good holiday weekend.

Thanks to HopelessRomantic79 for her awesome beta skills**  
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**Chapter 3**

**JPOV**

I had the strangest feeling of floating. Perhaps flying was a better term. It was as if I was up in the air in the early morning sunrise with the sun streaming on my face, warming my body. The wind rushing across my face in short little bursts and something quiet whispering unintelligible things in my ear. A gentle rocking motion suddenly broke the calm and woke me up.

I opened my eyes to see that I was hunched over the head of Bella's hospital bed with my face rights next to hers, and my hand gripping hers tighter than I probably should have been. My back felt stiff with age and the uncomfortable way I had fallen asleep in. I looked over to see that it was one of Bella's nurses who had shaken me by my shoulder to wake me up. She was young, with dark skin and the darkest hair I had ever seen with an almost dark purple hue to it.

"I'm sorry to wake you Mr. Whitlock." I glanced at my watch and saw that it was nearing one in the morning. "But the officer you had spoken to earlier is outside and would like to speak to you again. Shall I send him in?"

I nodded my head yes as I scrubbed my hand down my face in an attempt to wake myself up a bit more. I took a swig from the water glass the nurse had left next to Bella's beside for her and prepared myself to hear what the officer had to say.

The officer looked rather stoic, like he was trying really hard to not get emotionally involved with his case. I imagine that after so many years in this career, it was a force of habit in order to deal with the shit he saw all the time. "How is she?"

I shook my head a little to clear the fog, "Um…" I coughed, "she is doing better than earlier. They couldn't save the baby but they were able to save her, which I am so grateful for. She has been out for a while, but they said her vitals are good." I paused. I didn't know what else to really say. Finally after he sighed I asked the question plaguing me. "Did you speak to Bella's boss?"

He nodded and looked down away from me. He didn't want to meet my eyes which immediately alerted me to the fact that something was wrong. "Yes sir I did. What Mr. Hargrove told me was rather troubling. I had really hoped that Mrs. Whitlock would be awake right now so she could account her side of it to me too." He blew out a breath like he was really nervous to tell me what he had uncovered. "Mr. Whitlock, it seems that there was something your wife wasn't telling you."

"I don't understand."

The officer sat back in his chair and finally met my gaze. "Mr. Hargrove claims that he and Mrs. Whitlock here have been having an affair, going on about eight months now."

"That's fucking impossible." I snapped. There was no way, I knew Bella better than that. She despised that pig and had decided not to go back to work there after the baby was born. I made more than enough money to take care of us.

"I'm afraid that is what Mr. Hargrove told me. They started their affair shortly after she started working there. He said that when she became pregnant she told him that she didn't know whether the baby was his or yours which had caused them to start arguing. He claims that today, or rather yesterday, he had finally ended the relationship because he couldn't deal with sharing her anymore. He said she fled his office in tears and he hadn't heard anything from her or about her until I showed up there tonight."

"This is all bullshit, you know that right?" I yelled at him. I was pissed. Bella had not been cheating on me. It's not in her nature. She is not that cruel.

"Sir, Mr. Hargrove is respected attorney in our city, what use would he have with lying to the authorities?"

"He's a fucking lawyer. They all lie!"

"Mr. Whitlock, your emotions aside, this can't be ruled out. There is a very big probability that it is correct."

"She doesn't even like her boss! He is a chauvinistic pig that fucks anything that'll let him. Go ask! Go to the law firm and ask around. Find whatever woman who is dressed on the sluttier side and ask, I guarantee they say he slept with him. I don't believe for one second that Bella and him had anything together more than a business relationship."

"Calm down Mr. Whitlock."

"I will not calm down. This is utterly ludicrous. Just wait until Bella wakes up and gives you her side. Then we'll see if you are singing a different tune about _Mr. Hargrove_. "

"I will be Mr. Whitlock. I'll be back later on in the morning to question Mrs. Whitlock. I will also be conducting a thorough investigation at Harper, Saks and Associates. _Do not doubt that_." His tone had taken on a sharper insulting quality to it that obviously meant that he did not like my questioning of his investigation skills. But who knows? James is seedy person, maybe he bought him off. "Good evening Mr. Whitlock." With that he stepped out the door letting it fall behind him with a resounding click.

I slumped against in the chair next to Bella's bed again, feeling far more exhausted than I had just moments ago. My heart was racing and my blood was boiling. How dare he make such unfounded claims? I started to drift off again when I finally heard her.

"He's wrong." It was so quiet I barely heard it. I jumped up and leaned over the bed to get a better look at Bella. She looked so tired and exhausted, but at least coherent this time.

"What baby?"

"He's wrong. I wouldn't touch James with a ten foot pole unless it was to smack him upside the head with it." She smiled slightly and I couldn't help but to smile a little with her.

"I never would believe him baby. I know you better than that. I know you wouldn't cheat." I pressed a kiss to her forehead and look her in the eyes. They were starting to water.

"I…." she started. "I-I…I lost the baby didn't I?"

"Oh Bella…" She started sobbing harder and I gently pulled her into my arms the best I could. "I am so sorry sweetie, but yes, we lost our little girl." This seemed to only make her cry harder. I cried for her.

It was some time later before she calm down enough to talk to me again. "It's all James fault!" she said with so much anger.

"Bella, you need to calm down. You did just have surgery." She took a deep breath.

"It is still his fault!"

"I know Bella, but I need you to elaborate for me because James is making false claims that he had an affair with you and the baby could have been his."

She started shaking her head vehemently before I had even gotten my whole response out. "No. Absolutely not! He is disgusting."

"Ok, so please tell me what really happened today…"

She nodded her head and sat up a little more in bed, wincing as she did so. "They were working on the elevator in the lobby today. Apparently one of the assistants had dropped one of the giant ink toners for the copier in the elevator causing it to crack and spill ink all over everything, they had to pull the tiling up… anyways, that's beside the point. We all had to use the stairs today. Well, mostly everyone was gone by the time I went to leave for the appointment. I said good bye to James and made my way to the stairs. As I opened the door to them I was grabbed from behind and pushed through it and up against the wall inside the stairwell."

I rubbed reassuring circles on the back of her hand, trying to be patient and let her tell me in whatever way was easier for her. But, I just knew. I just knew that I would not like the points between A to Z. Between leaving work and the hospital. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. It would do Bella no good if I got angry and started yelling and shouting. I wouldn't want her to think it was her that I was mad at, far from it. I wanted to rip James' head off and shove it down his throat. Or perhaps dismember him and shove it up his ass. Maybe I could slam him up against a wall, assault him and then throw him down the stairs like rag doll. Only seemed fitting right? Turn around is only fair play.

She sighed and continued. "J-James tried to force his hand up under my s-skirt. He said he knew that I wanted this and now I could have it. I begged him n-not to. I begged him to leave me alone. I even told him I wouldn't tell anyone if he would just l-let me g-go." She started crying again. "He hit me across the face and said I wouldn't tell anyone anyways." I handed her a tissue and let her catch her breath. Me though, I was seething. It took all the willpower I had not to jump and run out the door. "I-I fought him. I kept telling him n-no. I struggled to get away from him and he said, and I q-quote, 'Fucking bitch, you should've gone along with it like the others' and then he pushed me. I t-tried to catch myself on the railing, I tried to keep myself from falling, to protect our baby, but he hit me on the side of my head again and I don't really remember much after that."

I crawled into the bed next to her the best I could and pulled her into my arms. I ran my hand up and down her back as she cried. "Bella, I love you so much and I am so sorry that you had to be forced to see firsthand how horrible some men can be. It doesn't make me love you any less. I am so so sorry babe. I hate that man more than I think I could probably say right now."

At this point I was just trying to keep calm for Bella, but I already knew that the second that she fell asleep again I would be going and paying Mr. Hargrove a visit, and not a friendly one at that. How dare he pull this kind of stunt with my Bella or any other women out there? Bastard. Perhaps it is time he got a taste of his own medicine.

**A/N:** Teaser of the next chapter to those who want it. I personally can't wait for the next chapter, its a killer one! Please review :)


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: **So...here is the chapter I have been waiting for. It was crazy weird (and kind of fun) to write. I noticed reviews have dropped on the last couple chapters :( but I hope this chapter is something y'all have been hoping for and will like a lot.

Thanks to HopelessRomantic79 for all her awesome beta work.

**Chapter 4 **

**Jasper POV**

It took some time to get Bella calmed down enough to sleep again. Her crying had gone from hysterical bursts to quiet sobbing and back again. I knew it would take some time to fully grieve the loss of our child. I don't think it really even hit me yet. This all felt like a dream. A horrific never ending nightmare really. But I couldn't think about that. No. It was 4:30 in the morning and I was currently standing on the side walk outside of James luxurious house. It had a tall fence surrounding the property and a key code box to let you into the driveway. It honestly didn't take much to jump the fence.

Or break in the front door. What kind of _rich bastard_ didn't have an alarm system on their house? I guarantee his little Bentley out front did.

I snuck into the front room and stood in the hallway. Now that I was here, I didn't exactly know how I wanted to do this. What exactly was I doing here? Was he even alone? I wanted to yell at him yeah. Maybe take a few swings at him. But breaking and entering at dawn? I must be fucking nuts. I turned to leave, to sneak back out the way I came and pretend I never showed up, until I heard a noise down the hall.

I turned around and noticed for the first time, that there was a light on down at the very end. And if I listened carefully over the thunderous thumping of my own heart, I could hear the hum of a treadmill and the soft hammering of footsteps.

I quietly made my way down the hall until I stood in front of the door that stood slightly ajar. I glanced in and could see the bastard jogging shirtless on his treadmill facing a wall with a TV running the news. He had headphones in too, so that was probably why he didn't hear me initially. But it only took seconds of me standing at the door, with a slight reflection of me in the TV, for James to slow down and notice that something was amiss.

I pushed the door opened and leaned against the wall. He brought the treadmill to a slow walk and eventually turned it off. He pulled his ear phones out and set his iPod down in an empty cup holder. Slowly, casually, like he had no problem in the world, he grabbed a towel to wipe off his face and quick swig of water before he finally turned to see me.

"I was wondering when you would be here. Didn't like what I told the cop huh? Yeah, I guess it is kind of hard to hear how your slut of a wife has been sleeping her way up the corporate ladder." James smirked.

"Yeah, except you and I both know that what you told the cop is the biggest lie you have told in your life. Oh wait, you are a lawyer. I guess this wouldn't be the first murder charge you have faced, this time it's against you though."

"Murder?" His faced shifted and he honestly looked like he didn't know what I was talking about.

"Oh? The cop didn't tell you? When Bella told you no and you savagely pushed her and my unborn daughter down the stairs, you remember that? Yes?" He nodded his head. That's was a good enough conformation for me. "Yeah, well by doing that you killed my unborn daughter. That's murder in my book, I don't know about the law. I'm sure you know better than me on that regard."

My voice was strangely calm, devoid of all emotion. I stood there totally stoic waiting to see what he would say or do next. I didn't feel as though I was in my right mind. It was as if Jasper had left the building and in his place stood me. Whoever the hell me was. I had heard about that before. With people in wars and having to kill people themselves. Fight or flight. How they didn't feel like themselves as they did things necessary in order to survive. Maybe it was something like that for me. Maybe I was like those army men. Maybe this was Major Whitlock instead of Jasper standing here.

"So…." James started. He hesitated for a second. He was kind of shuffling back and forth in the room. Not really going anywhere, but maybe he was facing his own flight or fight moment. "So…What do you want with me?"

"Your head on a silver platter for starters."

"No really…" It almost sounded like he was suppressing a chuckle. "What do you want from me? You know who I am, the power and influence I have. If you get Bella to say that is was all an accident, maybe we can negotiate a deal. Name your price. I could get you guys set up in a damn fine house. A car you've always wanted..." As he continued listing off things he could buy me I started to see red. "…call it a severance package. Bella of course will be let go from Harper, Saks and Associates. But that doesn't mean she won't be taken care of. I have a soft spot for her."

I flew at him. I didn't even register movement. Before I knew it I had him pinned by his throat against the wall. "Are you seriously trying to _buy_ your way out of killing _MY DAUGHTER_?" I roared into his face. "You disgusting fucking human being. What makes you think I would ever even go for something like this, huh? Is this how you get out of all you misdeeds, by throwing money at it? Everyone has a price yes? Well I don't."

I squeezed his throat tighter under my hand. His arms were flailing about trying to pull me away but there was no way. I worked in construction my whole life; he worked as a paper pusher. No matter how much he worked out in this pathetically small home gym, I would always be twice the man he was. And it showed. His face was starting to turn a sickening purple color from the lack of oxygen.

"And you have a soft spot for my wife, do you?" I didn't give him a chance to answer, not like he could anyway with my hand around his neck. I brought my knee up and slammed it as hard as I could right into his nuts. I dropped him to the ground.

He spluttered and coughed a few times before he choked out, "Isn't it like…man code….not to knee another man…in his balls?"

I laughed. Actually laughed, but it sounded cruel and heartless. Nothing like me at all. "You have to be man first in order for that to apply. A real man doesn't force any woman to do anything that she doesn't agree with. A real man doesn't lay a hand on another mans wife. A real man doesn't hurt anyone. A real man doesn't take advantage of the weak. And a real man doesn't kill children!" With each declaration I gave him a swift hard kick to his side just to punctuate my point.

He lay still after I kicked him several times. He was curled up on his side, breathing heavily. I was feeling rather good. I got my aggressions out, all that pent up anger about what he did and the loss of my daughter. I stepped back a few feet and sat down on the weight bench behind me. I dropped my head into my hands as I felt the emotions starting to sweep over me, the tears as they started to pour. The reality of it all. My daughter was gone, all because of the asshole lying on the ground in front of me. Did he deserve his punishment? Yes. But he didn't deserve it in this form, no matter how stress relieving it was. I should have given him a legal ass-whopping instead. What was I doing here?

I hear a noise and I looked up to find James standing over me with a murderous look on his face. He slammed his fist into my face, easily breaking my nose. I fell back on the weight bench clutching my nose. There was blood spilling everywhere.

"You mother fucker." He shouted at me as I felt him straddle me. "You think I was going to let you win that easily?" I blinked and finally was able to see clearly enough, just in time to see the empty weight bar from the weight bench coming down on me. He held it tight against my neck, with his body weight as leverage. I had no time to think. No time to considering anything really. I knew that my time would be short; I would die right here, right now, if I didn't do something. "You self-righteous fucker. Come into my house spouting off about what a real man is. A real man finishes his job, so if you came to kill me, you failed. And after I am done with you…I'll go find your little wifey…"

I let one of my hands drop to the side of the bench, trying to not let him see me desperately searching for anything to distract him with. I could feel the hard metal of the weights sitting right next to the bench. I fumbled trying to grab one as James continued his tirade. I couldn't hear him, couldn't understand anything he was saying as my vision began to blur as the darkness started to take over.

I gave one last ditch effort and hoped that what I was grabbing ahold of was enough. I lifted my hand to the side, curiously heavy and slammed whatever was in my hand against the side of his head. The weight on my body disappeared. I dropped whatever was in my hand and pushed the forty pound bar off my body. I sat up coughing and sucking in deep breaths. It took several minutes for my body to regulate and my vision to clear. By the time I was able to see what was going on around me, I wanted to shut my eyes and pretend it was all a dream, another nightmare.

Lying on his back next to me, James' dead eyes stared up at the ceiling. His head was sickeningly crushed in on the side where my hand and a ten pound dumbbell had connected. Blood was rapidly staining the carpet and it was terrifyingly quiet in the house.

I killed a guy

I killed James.

_I. Murdered. James._

I turned to the left side of the weight bench and proceeded to throw up everything that was in my stomach. I heaved until nothing was left and then slumped down on the weight bench as tears over took me. What did I do? What the hell was I supposed to do?

A few minutes later I decided I couldn't be here anymore. I couldn't be in this room. I couldn't look his body, or his dead unseeing eyes. I stepped out of the room and down the hall. In his kitchen I found his phone and dialed the first number that came to mind.

"9-1-1, please state your emergency."

"I….I-I didn't mean to. It got out of hand….he was going to kill me….I did the only thing I could to get him off of me…"

"Sir, what is your name."

"I just wanted to yell at him. Maybe punch him a few times. He killed my baby girl! I couldn't just let him buy his way out of this mess with no consequences, no repercussions. I was so mad."

"Sir, please, what is your name? I would like to send a police officer out to you."

"But then he attacked me and it was fight or flight. So I fought. And I won. Ma'am. Send the cops. Send the detectives. Send the coroner….because I just accidently killed James Hargrove." I dropped the phone on the counter, not even bothering to turn it off. I stepped out the front door and started towards the hospital, towards Bella. Towards the end.

**A/N:** Phew, crazy right? What will happen next? Teaser for those who review and would like it (ok, I admit, I might be haggling for some reviews, so sue me ;) The make me a happy writer, haha)


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Hello all! Exciting last chapter, right? It was scarily fun to write. Anyhow, I want to thank all the reviewers again for your awesome comments. You guys make it all worth the effort. I especially love some of your PMs trying to guess what is coming up next, Some of you are kinda close to spot on. Would love to hear more :)

Thanks to the ever amazing HopelessRomantic79 for her beta skills**  
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**Chapter 5 **

**Bella POV**

I awoke to the sound of movement in my room. I didn't quiet remember where I was until I opened my eyes. The site of the hospital room brought back the memories, rushing forward like a flood. Tears began to fall as the thoughts took over. Work. James. The cold look in his eyes. Fighting against the strong hold he had me in. That god awful set of stairs that took everything away from me. No. James took everything away from me.

I tried to sit up but winced at the pain in my abdomen. The nurse in my room glanced up from her chart as I tried to slowly lean back in bed. She was older than the nurse I had seen before.

"Oh Mrs. Whitlock, you're awake." She came over and helped me scoot up in the bed. The pain was nearly unbearable. "I was just checking on your vitals. You are doing much better than you were a few hours ago. How are you feeling?"

"What…" My throat was so dry it felt like I had swallowed sandpaper. "What time is it?"

"Oh..." she glanced at her watch. "It's a little after seven."

"Do you know where my husband is?" I looked around for any trace of Jasper, but there was none. It was like he hadn't even been in my room.

"I just started my shift Mrs. Whitlock; I haven't seen any man in here yet." I nodded in acknowledgement and let her continue her checking up on me. But I couldn't fathom why Jasper wasn't here. I know he was at some point because I could remember our conversation about…about Madeline, my baby. But I couldn't understand why he wasn't here now.

"Could I get some water?" I grimaced again as I turned to look at the nurse.

"Sure Hun, I'll also get you some more pain medication."

It was an hour later when Jasper had finally stepped through my door. He looked terrible. His hair was wet so he obviously went home to take a shower, but something had changed. Something about his demeanor wasn't right. He looked as if he had aged twenty years since the last time I saw him. He dropped a duffel bag next to the chair beside my bed and sat down.

"Where have you been?" I asked as I reached across the bed to grasp his hand.

He pulled away.

"Out." His voice was low, devoid of all emotion and it stung. Something was definitely _not_ right.

"Yes, well I managed to figure that much out on my own. Where were you? Why weren't you here?"

He finally looked up from the floor and looked me in the eyes. "I had something to take care of. I was out."

"Jasper…" I was starting to get angry and scared. This was not my Jasper. "What is going on? What is wrong with you?"

"Bella…" He sighed. "I did a bad thing and I can't tell you. I can't tell you because I can't crush you like that. I love you so much but I am not good for you…"

"WHAT!" I screamed.

"Please….just listen." I was shaking and my vision was blurry. I didn't know what he was trying to say, what he did, but this was just adding fuel to the fire that was my already destroyed life. "What I did this morning, I would never ever have thought I was capable of doing. It was all an accident really, but still, I was there when I shouldn't have been. I took the law into my own hands. Judge, jury and executioner. That wasn't right and I now I am going to pay for it. But…But I can't…no…I won't bring you into it."

He started to cry. His eyes dropped to the floor and he could no longer look at me. I tried to reach for his hand again, this time he took it. "Bella…I love you too much to bring this kind of hurt into your life. The hurt I am causing now will be dull in comparison. So I am asking you…no…begging you…to forget about me. Forget about us. Move on. Become the amazing woman I know you will be. But…"

"No." I started shaking my head. "Hell no. Jasper what are you saying? Are you leaving me?"

"Not by choice. I don't want to leave, but I can't do this to you. I am going to have to go away for a really long time and I don't want you waiting here, wasting your life on me. I am not worth it."

"Yes you are! Jasper, I love you. Whatever you did, we can work through it. We can always work around it. I don't want you to leave."

Jasper got up from his seat and scooted into the bed beside me, cradling me to his side. "Oh baby, I wish we could, but we really can't work around this one. There is only one possible outcome. I can delay it for a few days, but eventually it'll catch up to me."

"Jasper…what did you do?" I asked tentatively.

"I….I…I can't tell you. It'll crush you."

"Did you cheat on me? Is that it? Are you leaving me for someone else?"

"Oh god no! Bella. No. Never. Nothing like that. I love you and only you. No, but this is worst. I just…I can't even utter the words." He hugged me tighter. It hurt a bit but I wasn't going to say anything. My mind was whirling with all the possibilities of what he _could_ have done. He was being rather vague and I had no idea what happened.

"I wish you would tell me." He handed me a tissue as he rocked me, his own tears filling the quiet of the room.

"I can't do that to you. I'm going to have to leave soon. I have some things to take care of. I have to talk to Peter and Charlotte. And my attorney Jenks. But I can't stay here with you." He got out of the bed, and bent down to kiss me. I pulled him to me, mingling my tongue with his. If this was going to be my last kiss, I was going to make it count. "I can't be here when they come looking for me. Just know that…I love you. I have since that first day that I walked into the diner. And I will always love you no matter what. It was an accident. I didn't mean to. I would never maliciously do that to someone. But he deserved it." He bent down and kissed me one more time. His hands cupped my face as he kissed me a heartbeat longer than a normal good bye kiss would be. "I love you. Good bye Bella."`

As he turned to walk out the door his words started making some sense to me. "Jasper…" I called out. He kept walking, not even turning back. "Jasper! What did you mean? He deserved it? Jasper! What did you do?" But he never came back. He didn't turn around or acknowledge my calling as he left my room.

I laid back in the bed and glanced around my suddenly empty, desolate room. Nothing made any sense. I let myself cry. I let myself wallow in the knowledge that within 24 hours not only had I lost my child, but my husband too. My lively hood, my home, my life. In the time it takes for the clock to make two full rotations, I lost everything important to me, nearly in a blink of an eye. Yet I still didn't know why, how, or what would happen next. All my choices in my own life were ripped from me without a second thought to my opinion on the matter.

By that evening I was wreck. I didn't know what was right and what was wrong. I had tried calling Jaspers cell phone all day long. For the first hour, it just rang and rang and then went to voicemail. I finally received a text from Jasper after probably the hundredth call.

_Bella, I love you. But please. I can't be there for you any longer and you calling me all the time just makes me want to come back and I can't. I love you, God knows I do. But you won't want me after you find out. I'm turning my phone off now. Please remember, I love you and it was all an accident. I am sure you will find out soon._

After that, my phone calls were all rather futile. It went straight to voicemail. I tried calling both Peter and Charlotte as well, but their phones must have been off too, because all I could get were their voicemails.

I finally broke down and called my parents. I think I was too afraid to call them and tell them what happened because then it would be real. Saying the words out loud to someone else made it all that more realistic and more nightmarish too. This was my life now. My parents got on the next plane to see me, they were somewhere in Florida on vacation. They would be here in the morning.

By nine, I was out of my mind. I grabbed the remote off the side table and turned on the TV, hoping to find something to distract me from my thoughts. I clicked over to the news to see the weather. Nothing new there but it was interrupted before I even got to see the weekend forecast.

"_Excuse me, ladies and Gentlemen, but we have breaking news this evening. Earlier this morning 9-1-1 dispatch received a distressing call from the home of one of Seattle's most prominent attorneys from Harper, Saks and Associates. Upon further investigation, detectives discovered the body of 35 year old James Hargrove in his home. Authorities say the murder weapon was left at the scene, a dumbbell from Mr. Hargrove's own home gym. The identity of the killer is currently unknown but authorities say that they will know rather quickly who it is from plenty of DNA being left at the scene. All we have is this chilling 9-1-1 recording…_

"_9-1-1, please state your emergency."_

"_I…I-I didn't mean to. It got out of hand…he was going to kill me…I did the only thing I could to get him off of me…"_

"_Sir, what is your name."_

"_I just wanted to yell at him. Maybe punch him a few times. He killed my baby girl! I couldn't just let him buy his way out of this mess with no consequences, no repercussions. I was so mad."_

"_Sir, please, what is your name? I would like to send a police officer out to you."_

"_But then he attacked me and it was fight or flight. So I fought. And I won. Ma'am. Send the cops. Send the detectives. Send the coroner…because I just accidentally killed James Hargrove."_

_Authorities are asking that if anyone knows who this unidentified man is, or his whereabouts, to please contact the police immediately."_

I dropped the remote. The rest of the news cast faded from my vision, the sound drifted away. I could hear a ringing in my ears as everything that was said earlier came rushing back to me. Oh my god. Jasper. What have you done?

**A/N:** Teaser of the next chapter for those who would like it. Please review :)


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Hi, I am sorry this is a few days later than my normal updates. Its been a really busy (but altogether happy) week.

Thanks to HopelessRomantic79 as always for her beta skills**  
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**Chapter 6**

**Jasper POV**

"Peter!' I yelled as I knocked even harder on his door. It was just a little after nine in the morning and I had just left a broken hearted Bella at the hospital. I honestly didn't know where to go next.

"Peter, I know you are there. Open the door." Finally my blurry eyed brother appeared.

"This had better be good Jazz, we didn't get home until nearly three this morning and we were still asleep." He grumbled. I didn't listen; I just roughly pushed past him into his front hallway.

"Believe me; you'll want to hear all of this, hit me a few times I am sure and then throw me out." My phone started vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out to see Bella's name flash across the screen. I grimaced, hit ignore and shoved my phone back into my pocket.

"Ok, you have my attention. Let's go into the kitchen and talk." I followed him there and sat quietly as he prepared some coffee for himself. I was still trying to wrap my head around everything that had happened over the last day. My emotions were all over the place. I couldn't decide if I was sad or angry, resigned or resistant to my fate. Do I turn myself in, or do I run? I was guilty either way, but was it self-defense or murder?

Peter sat down with his coffee and just looked at me. No questions in his face, or any accusatory glances. He gave me enough time to collect myself before I could begin to tell him what happen. What all went wrong.

"I didn't mean to, but in all honesty, part of me did." I confessed.

"Ok…" He nodded.

"I killed a man this morning Pete, and I don't regret it. The only thing I will actually regret is the getting caught part. He deserved it. And now…now…he can't hurt anyone ever again."

"Right." He took a sip of his coffee and set it down. He was strangely calm about everything. I tell my brother I killed and man and he says two words, drinks his coffee and acts like we are talking about the weather. I have seen him more fired up about a work contract than this.

"Say something besides one syllable words please!" I yell as I slam my hand on the table, spilling his coffee all over.

He sighed and looked rather put out that I spill his coffee verses pleading guilty to murder. "Fine. Why don't you tell me what lead to this and we will go from there."

So I launched into the story. I didn't leave anything out. From the call from the ER doctor to Bella losing the baby, the detective and what he said that _Mr. Hargrove_ said. My emotions and thoughts about it all. And finally, ending with me outside James' home gym, the confrontation and leaving Bella behind. Once I started, I literally could not stop. The overwhelming severity of the situation hit me at full force and I started crying like there was no tomorrow. From my stand point, there really wasn't a tomorrow. I had thrown it all away. Including Bella.

She continued to call through the conversation, just making things that much more worst to explain. Finally I got to the point that I texted her back and then turned off my phone. Peter turned his off as well and let me know that Charlotte's phone was dead. It was then that I realized it was closing one in the afternoon and I hadn't seen her come down from upstairs.

"Where's Char?" No sooner did I get the words out then I heard the telling squeak of one of the stairs.

"I'm here." She came up behind me and threw her arms around my shoulders. "I am so sorry sweetie. I heard everything sitting on the step. I can't imagine what you went through." Her voice sounded rough like she had been crying too. No doubt she had. She rocked side to side, much like my mom use to when she would comfort me when I was younger. "You can stay here tonight while we figure out what to do. Are you hungry? I'll fix you something." She didn't wait for a reply as she set about making a late lunch. I honestly hadn't had anything to eat since the prior day but I knew I wasn't exactly hungry. I had no appetite.

"Jasper…" I looked up to see Pete look away from his wife and back to me. He shook his head a little; I could see his eyes were glistening slightly. "If it was me…and I was in your position and Charlotte was in Bellas…you better believe that I would have done the same damn thing. I would have put that bastard down for everything he has ever done. And tomorrow…tomorrow we'll contact Jenks and see where we go to next."

That night, as we watched the news, the story broke about James and his brutal "murder". I got so pissed I threw my phone at their TV. Charlotte wasn't too happy about that. But she was happy to see that they hadn't named me as a suspect. I knew it was only a matter of time, they even said so. I knew I bled a lot at his house, hell; I even threw up in his gym. It wasn't like I was being careful. I didn't plan this thing out days in advance and then sneak in to do the dirty deed. I was upset, angry; sad…wouldn't that make it a crime of passion or something, not murder?

I didn't sleep at all that night. I picked up the phone to call Bella…I don't know how many times exactly. But every time that I did, I'd convince myself that I was the last person she would want to talk to. She had to have seen the news report by now, known exactly what it was I did. She would never forgive me. She deserved better than some killer. She deserved the chance to start over. At least…that's what I kept telling myself.

Bright and early the next morning, I sat fidgeting between Peter and Charlotte at my attorney Jenks office. I didn't want to do this but it had to be done. My appointment with him took several hours. After explaining to him what happen, in detail, we set forth to make a plan that we could stick too. We wrote up several documents transferring ownership of my half of the company into Bella's name. I knew I would be doing time in jail and I didn't want what Pete and I had built together to go to hell in a hand basket. And, I had to do something for Bella. I had to make sure she would be taken care of. She would hate that I did this without her consent, but honestly, I knew that she would make sure everything was alright. Or at least…I hoped. And in this case, if things fell apart, she would have a way to survive without me.

We also decided that I would go rent a cheap, cash only, motel room to hide out in for the time being. I needed to stay away from my family and friends while the police analyzed their data, because we all knew it would point straight at me. Jenks suggested that once the news broke on who it was that killed James, that's when I let myself be found. Not necessarily turned in, but not running either. I had no idea if this was the right choice, but right now it was the only choice.

So for nearly two weeks I kept myself locked away in a cheap ass motel with ugly yellow and orange drapes, bedspread and carpet. I watched the news constantly just waiting for that moment. I didn't try to contact Bella, which to be honest, was killing me. I missed her so much that I could hardly think straight. Jenks phoned every day and kept me current with all the news he had heard and all the steps he was already taking in my legal defense. He also let me know that Bella had come by and demanded to know where I was. I almost begged him to tell her. But then the thought of the dead unseeing eyes of James Hargrove staring at the ceiling filtered through my head and that silenced me.

At nights, I had horrible nightmares when I _was_ able to sleep. Some nights it was the fight with him all over again, in perfect clarity. Some nights I won, some nights he won and then went to find Bella. Those were the hardest. I'd wake up with a scream on my lips and my heart beating out of my chest. I ended up unplugging the phone and breaking it order to stop myself from calling her to make sure she was alive.

When the news finally reported my name as the prime suspect, I was virtually grateful. I had enough of this tiny motel room, the separation from the world, from my family and most of all, from Bella. I glanced at the date on my phone and was surprised to see it. I hardly registered the days passing. I calmly made my way to the one place that made sense.

I was arrested at Edna's Diner one dark stormy night a full year after I met her. It was the same diner we had met at. The same diner we had our first coffee together, our first dinner and it was the same diner where she told as our lives were going to change forever.

I sat in our booth, the red squeaky vinyl giving my presence away. I shifted slightly to get comfortable knowing that I wouldn't be here for long. I could only run and hide for so long. I knew eventually they would come for me. It was inevitable. I looked up quickly at the lightening flashing violently across the sky as the heavens opened up a little bit more. A torrential rainfall fell across the inky sky almost in waves. It was late night or early morning, I didn't quite know. The streets were dead besides the sporadic traffic crossing from one side of town to the other. The twenty four-hour diner I sat in was always open no matter the weather nor the number of patrons.

"You're here awfully late aren't ya hun?" I glanced up at the scratchy voice of Mary, our usual waitress. She was in her early sixties and should have been off her feet a good decade ago. She reached over and flipped the empty coffee cup on the table over and quickly filed it to the brim with coffee that had probably been sitting in the pot for the last four hours. "Where's the Mrs.?"

"She's…." I cleared my throat. How do I answer that? Mary has known us each separately for a long time, but for the last year she got to watch us meet, fall in love and begin our life together. I didn't cherish the thought of her also getting to see our life together end. "Um…could I just get my usual please?"

She nodded her head and walked away. My usual was a sausage and cheese omelet with hash browns and it sounded so damn good. If I was going to be finally caught tonight, I at least wanted my one final meal.

I looked out the window as I sipped my coffee. The events from the last couple weeks were playing through my head on an endless loop. Just a month ago our lives were perfect. Both had great jobs, nice apartment, our lives were just starting out. Then he happened, I retaliated and then…

"Here's your usual hun. Ya know…you can talk to me if you need to? I've known you and the Mrs. for quite a while. I've been through love and loss and heartache too. I may be able to help you work out some things if need be."

"Mmm, Thanks Mary but I don't think you can help here. I'm good for now. Thanks." She set down my check and smiled politely as she walked away. I hummed to myself. I'd miss her too, like the mother I never really had. I grabbed the ketchup, nearly drowning my plate in it, before I started eating. I glanced at the check and saw I owed her $11.89 for my meal. I pulled a couple $100 dollar bills from my wallet and slid it over on the table towards the window. It was the least I could do. I imagine the cops would be here any second and the commotion it would cause would forever change this diner's perception of me. Hell, who knows, maybe my arrest would even get this Ma and Pa shop some more business.

I was almost finished with my plate when I saw the red and blue lights cutting across the rainy night. I took another sip of my coffee and sat back, staring out the window. There was surprisingly only one cop car, two officers. I had figured on more, but apparently I wasn't that important, yet they had been tracking me for days.

They walked in together. One was a big burly guy; the other looked like he had eaten way too many donuts in his life. Shaking off the rain, they headed down the aisle towards me. I calmly set my fork down and pushed away my plate.

"You know why we're here son?" the portly guy asked. I nodded and stood, turned around and put my hands behind my back. He started to cuff me as the big burly guy started reading me my Miranda Rights.

"Jasper Hale Whitlock, you are wanted on the charge of murder in the second degree of one Mr. James William Hargrove. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as they have been read to you?"

"Yes sir."

**A/N:** Just to let you know, we are coming towards the end. I only have like two more chapters planned and then an epilogue (assuming the characters don't take over). Teaser to those who review. Thanks! :)


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and is still sticking with me. This chapter is shorter but I promise I make up for it in the next chapter. We are doing a bit of a time jump here. And I would like to reiterate that I am _not_ a cop or a lawyer or the like. That I did some research and thats how I came to the conclusion of his charges and/or sentencing. I am sure it is wrong, but its just for fun. Please enjoy it for what it is.

Thanks as always to HopelessRomantic79 for her beta skills**  
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**Chapter 7**

**Bella POV**

I crumpled the envelope in my hand again while I looked out my kitchen window as the sun began to rise. I had yet to open it. I honestly didn't know if I wanted to. I sighed, turned and sat at the table, smoothing out the envelope as I set it down. Down in the bottom corner sat a heavy red stamp saying 'State Penitentiary'.

The letter was from Jasper.

It has been five years since I last saw him. And the letters…well, they still came much the same as they usually did. Once a month, or twice, for my birthday and holidays. They always say about the same thing, but this letter, I knew it was different. Peter had called me and let me know that date that Jasper was going to be released on and since that date was coming up fast; I had figured this letter was full of the details.

The last time I saw Jasper was right after he had been sentenced, five years with good behavior for second degree murder with temporary insanity. That day at the prison, with glass separating us and the hard plastic of the phone pressed against my ear, we got into a nasty fight. I was upset and scared, rightfully so, but he was too, and I couldn't see it. I was rather self-absorbed around the time of the trial and sentencing. It took many years of therapy for me to even comprehend the gravity of the situation and what I could do about it. How to heal, how to see things from Jasper's side, and whether or not I wanted a divorce or not. I mean, hell, we were only together for a year before it all happened.

Peter and Charlotte made me get out of bed and go to the prison with them to visit him. I still hadn't made my mind up yet whether I even wanted anything to do with him anymore. I love him still, Lord knows I do. But he killed a man, the man that killed our child. I should be grateful. I should be happy knowing that James can never come back and hurt me, but I would have rather had James be the one in jail than Jasper.

I looked down at the envelope in my hands and knew I couldn't really put it off any longer. He was still my husband; I never bothered with getting a divorce. I loved him, but I didn't know if it could be enough. The last five years had been tough. I went through various stages of major depression, not eating, not sleeping, not working, and living off what little money I got from Jasper's share of the business. It still pissed me off that he set it up that way to take care of me from prison. And I feel guilty for using the money, but in all honesty, I wasn't mentally all there. I couldn't get out of bed let alone work. I spent many years just mentally and emotionally… fucked up, for lack of a better word. It's like I needed to hit the reset button, but I could never find it. So I was stuck in a state of limbo for many years.

And now he was coming home.

Not to our apartment, no. I had moved his stuff out into Peter's storage years ago. I couldn't stand to see it every day. So Jasper was moving in with Peter and Charlotte and their twin girls, Lucy Mae and Lindsay Kate. But I didn't know where it left us because for the last five years, I've been too afraid to open up to Jasper. For the first year, I received two or three letters a week from him. Then it dwindled down to only once a week, then every other week, then to only once a month. I've written back 15 times over the last five years, and all short missives, his birthday, our anniversary and Christmas. I haven't gone and seen him once, even though Peter goes every week.

My hands shook as I ripped open the envelope, much like you would a band aid, and decided to get it over with.

_Dear Bella,_

_I hope you are reading this. I have no idea anymore whether or not you actually even open these, if my actions are fruitless or not. I at least know you get all the letters since none of yet to be returned to me, but even Peter says you don't talk with them much anymore, just about the girls. I hope you are alright. I pray that you are. I'm afraid for you. All alone in our apartment, although really, it is your apartment now. Peter told me long ago that you moved my stuff out. Does that mean you moved me out of your heart too? Because Bella, I still love you like yesterday was our wedding day. I don't think anything is going to change that, but one word from you will silence me. You tell me you honestly don't want anything to do with me anymore and I'll let you go, I'll let you move on. But to be honest, I am hoping you don't, as selfish as that is. _

_I still get your standard letters every year, but I don't know how comforting they have been. You sound…lonely. You don't ever talk about your life, nor do you ever answer any of my questions. You're vague but to the point. I really don't want to know how your parents are doing, or where they are going for vacation. And I don't need the same information about Peter, Char and their girls repeated back to me when I hear it every week from him. I want to hear about you. How you are doing. No sugar coating, no rainbows and flowers. I want the hard stuff. I need to know if you are living or just surviving because, baby, you deserve so much more than that and I don't know if I'll ever be able to apologize enough for that._

_I am in a much better place than I was when…well…let's just say 'back then'. They had me seeing a shrink in here. He was a nice guy. He got me to admit to things I never even thought of and really helped me work through what I did to both James and you…and to myself really. I've mentioned him in past letters, but again, I don't know if you even read them._

_Anyway, I am getting released on the 18__th__. Peter said he was going to pick me up. I wanted to ask you to, so bad, but I didn't know if you would and my shrink said that it was probably not a good idea to put you on the spot like that. I want to see you so bad it hurts. But I will wait until you are ready. If you want to come see me at Peter and Charlotte's, that's fine. You want me to come to you, I can do that. Hell, if the diner is even still around we could meet there, as long as I get to see you. I'll jump through whatever hoops I have to just to prove myself to you. I love you and want that future we had planned together. I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. But if you have moved on and that's why you haven't written me back much… please end my misery now and tell me. It'll be hard, and picking up the pieces will be no easy task, but Peter and Charlotte will be there for me, as they are for you. Please remember that. You are not alone. I know you don't get along with your folks that well, that you never really saw eye to eye, but do know that me, Peter, and Charlotte will always be there to help you no matter the situation._

_I love you Bella, and I pray every day that I'll get to see your smiling face again._

_Love,_

_Your Jasper_

I folded in on myself as I set his letter down, tears streaming down my face. I sobbed, my tears blotting out the words on his latest letter like I had held the note out in the pouring rain.

He thought I had moved on? No. I never did. I never even tried. I read every one of his letters, most filled with mundane things like the stuff he learned in school, or a book he read. But I read every single one. But I didn't ever know what to write back. What would I tell him?

_Dear Jasper, my life sucks. I don't eat, I don't sleep, I don't work, I don't do anything. Getting out of bed in the morning hurts and I miss you so much that sometimes it doesn't even feel like that part of my life was real. I'm homesick for a home and life that doesn't exist anymore. I was given a taste only to have it wrenched away from me._

No, I couldn't do that. I couldn't focus on any one task besides breathing. For so long, all that existed to me was the loss. The loss of my child, husband, job…. life. It felt like I died. And sometimes I wanted to, but there was always that little nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that it wasn't over yet. And I couldn't send that in a letter to him. I know he deserved so much more than the little bit of contact I gave him, but I wasn't ready yet. It took years for me to get to the place I was now. A place that both my psychiatrist and I felt comfortable with.

I was pretty sure I was ready to see him. I know that there is no way that things could go back to the way they were, but I didn't mean we couldn't try. I never gave up; I just had a hard time getting to the point where I was emotionally stable enough to try. And I knew that Jasper still wanted to try, but would that all change after he got out and saw what my life had become?

**A/N:** Oh, and I should have put this up ages ago (I always forget to remember to) but this story _will_ have a Happily Ever After. I seriously can't write a story where they don't end up that way. Longer than normal teaser of the next chapter to those who review. Thanks!


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Hi everyone! Here is the reunion chapter, hope you enjoy it :)

Thanks to HopelessRomantic79 for her beta skills and thoughts/ideas!**  
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**Chapter 8**

**Jasper POV**

I stepped foot out in the parking lot, the first time as a free man in more than five years, and turned to my face to the sky. I closed my eyes and let the sun wash over my face, let the wind blow through my hair. I inhaled deeply, trying to remember everything about this moment. I was out. I was free. I could feel this sensation sweeping through my body, warming me from the inside, kind of like sitting next to a warm fire during winter. It was a glorious feeling.

"Jasper!" I was startled at the shout and looked around to find Peter jogging towards me from the other side of the lot, huge smile on his face. "You're actually out man," he said as he wrapped me in a hug. It was good to see him outdoors for once. He never failed to come see me every week. Charlotte would come too, that is until she had the girls two years ago. Which I understand. I wouldn't bring children to see someone in prison either.

"So what is the first thing you want to do now that you are a free man again?" he asked as we started making out way towards his truck. I hadn't really thought of what I wanted to do first. See Bella. That was for damn sure, but I had to give her some time. I had received a letter back from her two days ago saying she did want to see me and that she would contact me sometime soon. It made me hope and that has been a truly scary thing as of lately.

"God Pete… I don't know. I want the biggest greasiest burger there ever was with a pint of beer too." He laughed. "But at some point I have to call my parole officer and check in with him. I need to talk to Jenks to about the company which means I really have to talk to Bella too."

"Yeah… I wanted to talk to you about that actually."

We were already in his truck on the way home. I glanced over to him to see him looking out the front windshield, avoiding my gaze. "Ok… what's up?"

"Well, about three months ago Bella had a meeting with Jenks and me; she signed everything back over into your name for when you were to be released. She works at the diner now. Mary actually hired her. She does the books for them."

"Huh." I didn't know what to say to that. Now I know where she works, that's good, but it sounded like there was more to the story.

"Yeah, that isn't all. She apparently kept a running totally of the money she spent of yours. She started paying it back into an account, with interest."

I exploded. "What the fuck? It's hers. No obligations. No loans. And no fucking interest! I did that to help take care of her, like a husband should when I couldn't be there."

"I know man, don't shoot the messenger. I only found out about this like a month ago. She apparently set it up with Jenks so it's all legal and shit."

I sighed and slumped into my seat. That dangerous hope that I had started to feel build within me suddenly felt like a giant lead weight. None of this sounded good and all of it sounded like a severing of ties. Maybe that's why Bella did write back that she wanted to see me. Maybe she wanted to hand me divorce papers in person?

"Try not to think of it much," he said as we pulled up in front of his house. "Let's just go in, get Charlotte and the girls and head out and get some food, okay?"

The girls were adorable and knew who I was apparently. Both Charlotte and Peter said that they always talked about me to them, not in prison, but that I was away for work so the girls would understand why I wasn't around. But it did break my heart too. I _should_ have a daughter of my own older than them. And it was sad reminder of what should have been.

Lunch was beyond delicious. It let me know just how much I had missed real food. The shit they gave me in prison couldn't light a candle to this stuff. And I was able to curb myself to only one beer, though the thought of getting drunk was rather appealing.

Over the next month I fell into a steady rhythm of putting my life back together. I went back to work with Peter but I stayed behind the scenes majority of the time. Everyone knew who I was, it was big news, and both Peter and I agreed it would be best if I handle the paperwork side of the business for a while until I could start being integrated back into our clients' profiles.

I helped out as much as I could at home too. I watched the girls for them while they finally got to go have a date. They were quiet difficult to watch, running around and getting into things constantly. But when they fell asleep on me on the couch while watching a movie, I knew it was all worth it. Apparently Bella had babysat a couple of times before too. I wonder how she did. Probably perfectly. She just always seemed like she would be the perfect mothering type.

Peter and Charlotte told me everything they could about Bella. What she was like during and after the trial, and the several years since. They watched her deteriorate down into nothing. Charlotte finally tracked down Bella's parents and begged them to come help her about six months after I was put in. They immediately got her help and she has been seeing a therapist ever since.

Charlotte said that Bella didn't have much of a life either, that she was depressed for so long that they were afraid she would do something drastic. But apparently she slowly got better, stronger. She didn't talk about herself to them much. Didn't elaborate about her life or what she did. Charlotte was pretty sure Bella slept away the first three years of my sentence. That broke my heart. Bella deserved so much more than that. But then she started seeing a new therapist that was actually helping her. She started going out and doing things more, if only to get out of the house. And she finally started working again a few months back.

I was afraid of this. I was so scared she would just shut down and bottle things up, not properly grieve. And that's exactly what she did, at least from Charlotte and Pete's standpoint. It took everything I had not to just run over to the diner and see her after having that huge talk with them. But I was really trying to respect her wishes.

Six weeks after I was released I finally received word from Bella. I would have preferred to have spoken with her myself but Charlotte did. She gave her my new cell number while she was at it so she could talk to me directly next time. But she wanted to see me and asked if I could meet her in front of the diner this coming Saturday.

I was excited.

But I was also terrified.

I didn't know what was going to happen in this meeting with her. Where did we stand and what was going on in her head? Never have I wish more than ever that I could read minds or know what she was feeling. It was frustrating. And I was beyond frightened that this was indeed the end.

Saturday morning found me pacing back and forth in front of the diner in the chilly fall air. I was early and I was starting to get nervous. What if she didn't come? I turned and started back down the sidewalk in the other direction. What if she took one look at me and left? I turned again and started back the other way. But this time I looked up and stopped dead in my tracks.

There she was. No denying it. She was skinnier then the last time I saw her. Her hair was longer and whipping back in forth in the mild breeze. She had obviously aged the five years it's been, small little details stuck out. But you could also see that she had been through so much. She just looked tired.

Her eyes found mine and she stopped walking about fifty yards in front of me, but it felt like a mile. The distance felt too great to cross, so we stood at an impasse. She twisted her hands together nervously while biting down on her lip. It still made my pulse jump a little when she bit her lips, I used to love that. Still do apparently.

I honestly couldn't tell you who moved forward first, but within seconds Bella was throwing her arms around my neck and burying her head in my shoulder, crying. I don't think I could have hugged her any tighter than I already was. I buried my nose in her hair and her scent washed over me. I felt a lurch in my chest that I could lose this right here and I could not, would not, let that happen.

I could kind of hear her mumbling into my shoulder but I really couldn't make it out. I pulled back slightly so I could look at her face, it was streaked with tears. I cupped my hands around her face and started wiping them away. "Bella…" I breathed out. "What? What is it sweetie?" My voice was soft, barely a whisper and I was so afraid out what her answer would be.

"W-Why did I wait so long to see you?" she cried. "Oh god." She leaned forward and buried her face into my chest, tightening her arms again. I broke and a tear rolled down my cheek. It felt like my heart was trying to burst out of my chest.

"Did you drive here Bella?" She shook her head no. "Good, come on. We don't need to have this conversation in public. Let's go back to our, I mean, your apartment." I walked her down the street towards where I parked with her firmly attached to my side. It was hard to believe that everything wasn't going to be ok when she was latched on to me so tightly, but that could all change. I was still quite skeptical.

It was a good thing I was driving Peter's old truck with the giant bench seat in the front or else I wouldn't have known how I would have driven us anywhere. All the way back to the apartment, Bella sat right next to me. Made it kind of hard to parallel park on the street too but I really didn't care at that point. Bella grabbed my hand and laced her fingers through mine as she and I made our way up the stairs to the apartment. It felt so surreal. Not much had changed about the building and surrounding area itself while I was away. But walking into the apartment changed everything. It was entirely different. Different couch, TV, pictures on the walls, tables, and lamps… all of it screamed Bella. It also screamed change and moving forward.

"I-I had to change the apartment…" Bella hiccuped out. "It hurt so much to see all your stuff here, our life together. The therapist at the time said it might be a good idea."

"I don't blame you. I really don't. It _was_ probably a good idea at the time." Things felt a little awkward now that we were in the apartment together. She sat down on one side of the couch while I sat on the opposite.

"I don't know where to start," she whispered as she looked down at her hands.

"Well… Peter and Charlotte told me as much as they could, why don't you fill in what they don't know?" She nodded. I briefly outlined what they had told me, she nodded along with it agreeing to it, which hurt. I had hoped that they were over exaggerating it. Apparently not.

"That's pretty much the gist of it," she agreed. "I'm not going to go into detail on the days because some of them, honestly, I can't remember. I was not in a good place and I folded in on myself and cut everyone else off. I barely ate. I slept when I could and had nightmares most of the time. It wasn't pretty and I really don't want to cause you any more pain by telling you all of it. Because I know you, you'll take it all as your fault and feel guilty and we won't get pass this. My new therapist Liam has been really helpful this last year. He helped me restart everything. See it as it was and move forward. It was hard, but I am in such a better place now than I was even a year ago."

"That's really great Bella, but… it was _all _my fault."

"No it wasn't." Her voice finally sounded strong, like the Bella I knew before everything went downhill. "That was something Liam helped me to see too. It was not your fault. It was James' fault. He is the one that caused this whole mess and you were the one who was simply fighting for your family. You saw him as the threat that he was and you went out to rectify the situation. I don't blame you."

I closed my eyes at those four little words. _I don't blame you. _They rang out in my head and I repeated them over and over just so I could get that forever ingrained in my brain. I waited five years to hear those words.

"Thank you Bella. I really needed to hear that," I whispered shyly.

"What? It's true. At first I kind of did blame you because I didn't really understand what my emotions were. The therapists helped me see that. It wasn't you I blamed. I really don't blame you. I blame James and what he did, the situation he caused. Would I have preferred him in jail alive and you here with me instead? Absolutely. But then I would always worry if I was his last victim. Would he get out and do it again to some other poor helpless girl? So, no, I don't blame you because you might have saved the lives of countless others out there just waiting for James to unleash his cruelness on."

I let out a huge breath I was holding. What she said made sense. "So… where does that leave us?"

She blushed and looked down at her hands. "Well… we didn't entirely know each other that well when we married and then all of this happened. I think… well…" She paused for a minute. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. "I think that we are two totally different people than we were when we got married. So perhaps we should, I don't know… date?" she asked shyly.

I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. It was an automatic response. "Date? Oh god yes." She smiled finally at my confirmation. "I was so afraid you were going to whip out divorce papers and hand them to me and I really don't want that. So yes Bella, I would love to date you. I would be more than happy to start over and try again. Anything for you."

For the next two hours we just sat and talked on the couch. She updated me with little things like Mary at the diner, things about her folks she hadn't already told me, her job, some of her ideas about the future and some of things I might have missed in the world while I was in there. It was a good conversation. Reminded me so much about the first couple of times we had sat together and talked at the diner. If dating was what it would take to be with Bella, that fresh start, I would do it in a heartbeat.

Standing at the door saying goodbye, we set up a time to have dinner together the next night. She worked Monday through Friday like I did so finding time to go out together was going to be no problem. But as I stood at the door, hugging her goodbye, I knew that I had to kiss her. It had been far too long.

I pulled away slowly and looked her in the eyes. I could see the love, still present as always. I leaned in slowly, closing the gap between us inch by tortuously slow inch, giving her plenty of time to object. But she didn't, she leaned forward and closed the gap faster for me, pressing her lips instantly to mine. I had forgotten how deliciously soft her lips were and how perfectly they fit with mine. Her arms tightened around my neck as she pushed herself closer, opening her mouth to mine. I wound my arms around her waist and pulled her hips flush with mine. I groaned and turned to push her up against the door. It has been over five years since I had sex with someone, let alone kissed. It was almost too much. I started peppering kisses down her neck as she moaned just loud enough for me to hear.

I grumbled and dropped my head to her shoulder, stopping the kissing in its tracks. "Bella…if we don't stop right this second, I am afraid we will push ourselves into a situation that we are not ready for yet no matter how badly we both may want it."

She nodded her head and sighed as we eased ourselves away from each other. "You're right. We shouldn't rush, especially after how hard it's been the last few years." It's hard all the time, I thought and tried not to laugh out loud at my immature little joke. But I was seriously looking at going home to house full of people when I wanted to do was stay here and bury myself in her.

I gave her one more small kiss, nothing more than a quick peck as I let myself out the door. I couldn't help to feel elated as I made my way down to the truck. All the weeks of worry since I got out was all for naught. It looked as if maybe, finally, things were looking up.

**A/N:** No teaser this time because the next chapter is the epilogue. I can't believe we have reached this point already :(

Would love to hear your thoughts and maybe what you may or may not want to see in the epilogue. Thanks!


	10. Epilogue

**A/N:** Hi everyone. This is it. The last chapter. I would've had it too you sooner but life was hectic and then Jasper and Bella didn't want to cooperate. Haha. So thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. You guys are amazing.

Thanks to HopelessRomantic79 for being my beta and guiding light through this story 3**  
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**Epilogue**

**Bella POV**

Five very long years have passed since that fateful day. I can't really remember much from then, besides the overwhelming feeling of wholeness I felt when I saw Jasper pacing back and forth on that sidewalk. The pain and emptiness I felt for the years that he was in prison, vanished. I cursed myself for not going and visiting him while he was in there. Hindsight really is 20/20, because now that he was out and with me, I couldn't figure out why I didn't go and see him. My reasoning made no sense.

The first year he was out was really a test in strength for us, separately and together. We continued to live apart, by suggestion of our therapists, multiple therapists. We each had our own therapist and a marriage counselor. It was helping, immensely. We were moving forward, albeit very slowly, but enough where we were starting to feel like ourselves again.

We moved in with each other again two and a half years after he was out. We decided to get rid of the apartment and start fresh. A new place to go with our new outlook on life, it was good. It was a small little apartment but it worked for us.

Jasper and I both worked with Peter, and now Charlotte too, for the family construction business. It was growing despite the economy and providing us all with a decent lifestyle. Mary was sad to see me go at the diner, but was more than happy to see us working everything out. We still go and see her at least once a month, if not more.

Six months ago we bought our first house. It was beautiful two story house not far from Peter and Charlotte's. The three bedroom, two bathroom house was a must have buy, because once again, I was pregnant.

This time however, it was planned.

After much consideration, and many sessions with our marriage counselor, we decided to try again. It was an emotionally charged time for us. It actually took us eight months before we conceived again. I was devastated each month when it would turn out that I wasn't pregnant. I had worried that losing the previous baby and the trauma from that had caused me to become infertile, that I was becoming too old to conceive, or that I was being punished by God for whatever reason and this was my price to pay. It was a month after my 35th birthday that two pink lines finally came back on the pregnancy test. I took four more to make sure it wasn't a false positive.

When Jasper found out, he was ecstatic. We went and bought a new house and he and Peter immediately went to work on one of the spare bedrooms. They painted, they built, and they wouldn't even let me in. He kept the door locked so it 'would be a surprise' for me. And boy was it! It was gender neutral, because we wanted the sex to be a surprise, with a beautiful jungle theme. I guess even Charlotte came in and helped because there was a giant tree painted in one corner of the walls with its branches extending across the ceiling and walls with happy jungle animals all over. She painted it for us all by hand.

I cried so hard that night, and over exhausted myself, to the point that Jasper demanded I be on 'bed rest' for the rest of the pregnancy. He didn't want to take any chances and neither did I. While Jasper was at work, I was slowly unpacking and setting up our new house. Needless to say I ran out of things to do quickly, and was swiftly becoming a bored stay at home mommy with no baby to care of yet.

But all that changed today when my water broke while Jasper was at work, to be more specific, on a job in a city more than five hours away. He didn't want to get sent on this job so far away with only a few weeks left in my pregnancy, but the chance at such a high paying job was too great, especially when Peter and Charlotte_ just_ found out that they were pregnant with their fourth child. They were both still able to come home for three days of the week, but it wasn't the same. I spent most my time over at Charlotte's with my nieces and nephew. And that's where my water broke. Thankfully, Charlotte was an old pro at this now and got me to the hospital and our husbands called in no time.

By the time Jasper was finally able to get to the hospital, I was nearly ready to push. The doctor was surprised with how fast this labor was but I wasn't paying attention that much. I was in too much pain but within a few hours the doctor was putting a small blue bundle in my arms, a son. After checking for ten toes, ten fingers and all the necessary body parts, they whisked him off, and I fell asleep.

**Jasper POV**

"…and you're going to love your new bedroom. Your uncle Peter and your Aunt Charlotte both helped me set it up for you little man. Your momma, she was so surprised when it was finished. I wish you could have seen her face. I should have taken a picture for you." I whispered to the little sleeping baby in my arms. My son. I was a father…again. I stared down in his little face, his bottom lip pouting out slightly as he dozed the night away. Bella was still asleep in the bed. She needed her rest and I needed a little bonding time with my son.

I was still having a bit of a hard time with all of this. It made my heart ache that we never got to have this moment with our little Madeline May. That asshole took that away from us. But with that same thought, I took this moment away from him. He could have been a daddy someday too. And that was one of my biggest regrets. I took away the chance for someone else to feel the overwhelming joy I was feeling now. Regardless of how much of a bad guy he was, he still deserved the chance. I was still seeing my therapist, and would definitely be going in soon. I was beyond happy that we were moving on and had our family but my guilty conscious would not lay to rest what I had done, self-defense in the end or not. And I probably would always regret it.

Madeline May Whitlock had her own little grave at our, newly purchased, family plot. And our son will grow up knowing that he should have had a big sister. I'd like to think they would have been best friends. She could have taught him how to ride a bike, like Peter did with me. Or made sure other kids didn't pick on him in the school yard. She would have been ten years old this year, an unimaginable number to me.

"Why do you look so sad while holding our son?" I heard Bella hoarsely whisper from the bed. I looked up at her and tried to smile. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Well….I was just thinking about Madeline and how she should have been here with us." She stretched out her arms towards me and scooted over in the bed slowly, wincing while she did.

I placed our son in her arms and gently laid down next to her. A single tear dropped down her cheek as she adjusted the blanket around him. "I miss her too. So so much. Especially after today. But you know she is here with us, looking down from heaven and watching with a smile." She leaned down and kissed our son's forehead gently.

We sat quietly for a few minutes, just watching our son sleep. He was handsome. He had a little tuft of kind of wavy dirty blonde hair on his head. His nose was definitely Bella's. My lips, I think. And maybe my ears too. Poor kid. But he had Bella's eyes, darkest eyes I had ever seen on a baby.

"We really need to come up with a name for him," she whispered.

"We could name him after your dad?"

"No way. I love my dad but Charles is such an old man name." I laughed.

"What about Jack?"

"Veto." She said while laughing, trying to keep quiet so she didn't wake him.

"What's wrong with Jack?"

"It reminds me of the Titanic and how she whispers Jack. I would constantly be thinking that if I ever had to say 'Jack, come back.' So no." I laughed at her reasoning.

"Ok…Ok…How about….Samuel?"

"I like that." She hummed. "But…how about Samuel Peter Whitlock?"

I smiled. "You want to name him after my brother?"

She nodded. "Your brother and Charlotte were there for me, no questions asked, when I couldn't even get my own family on the phone. If it wasn't for Peter, I don't know what would have happened to me while you were…away."

"Hello Mr. Samuel Peter Whitlock." I whispered as I leaned down and kissed his forehead. This little boy had me wrapped around his finger and he wasn't even a day old yet. I don't think there wasn't a single thing in this world that I wouldn't do for him. "Welcome to our family little man. How would you like to have some younger siblings?"

"Jasper?" Bella shrieked while laughing.

"What? The clock's ticking. We should get started on filing our house up as soon as possible." I wiggled my eyebrows at her and she blushed. After 10 years, I still loved that blush.

"Well…there really is only one more room left to fill…" I whipped out my phone and started to text Peter. "What…what are you doing Jasper?" She tried to lean over and see what I was typing. I quickly finished off the text and closed my phone.

"Oh…I was just letting Peter know about our next project at work."

"And that would beee…?"

I laughed and lifted our little Sam man out of her arms. If I had him in my arms she wouldn't be tempted to smack me when I told her. "Oh just the expansion on our home. A couple more bedrooms, play room, jungle gym in the backyard. Nothing big. You know…for all those children we are going to get to work on making as soon as possible."

She laughed. "Only you Jasper. God, if I didn't love you so much…."

"Yeah, but you do. And I love you too." I leaned in and captured her lips with mine. We may have had a rocky, unconventional start to our happily ever after, but we were well on our way to getting there someday. It wasn't a step too far away now.


End file.
